Humbling

My friend Katie e-mailed me a poem yesterday, a twist on 'Twas the Night Before Christmas:

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

HE LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM  HOUSE MADE OF

PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY

WITH  PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO

IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I  LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO  PRESENTS,

NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

JUST BOOTS FILLED  WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES

OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH  MEDALS AND BADGES,

AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT

CAME THROUGH MY  MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND  THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY  SLEEPING,

SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR

IN THIS ONE BEDROOM  HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I  PICTURED

A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO

OF WHOM I'D  JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES

THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS

WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,

THE  CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE

A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS  DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM

EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF  THE SOLDIERS,

LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER

HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE

IN A LAND FAR FROM  HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT

BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY  KNEES

AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED

AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

'SANTA DON'T CRY,

THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,

I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD,

MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER

AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,

I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,

SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED

FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE

ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR

SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

'MERRY  CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND!

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

Katie's husband is in the military, and she lives a life that I will never understand.  I have other friends with military spouses as well.  The months spent apart, the fear, the not-knowing...it's something that I think non-military families can't truly comprehend.  I never really thought much about it until I started coming into contact with more and more military people.  San Diego is a military town, and when I was running my fitness testing business, I would get my fair share of military folk coming in for testing.  I like to strike up conversations with people, and so I would learn all sorts of things about deployments, both from the deploying side, and from the home side. 

I'm so happy that the man I fell in love with and chose to spend the rest of my life with isn't in the military.  I know that I *could* handle it, just like I know that I *can* handle anything that life throws at me.  And I'm also very clear that I wouldn't choose that life.

I have an enormous amount of respect for the men and women who serve and protect this country so that the rest of us won't have to.  The men and women who choose separation from their loved ones, less-than-stellar living conditions, danger, fear, and so many other things that we can't even fathom.  Who choose these things because they love this country and the freedoms it affords all of us.  And I have an enormous amount of respect for their spouses, who put up with the separations, the fears, the silences...who raise their children alone and keep the machine running until their soldier comes home.

They live this life year-round, and I can only imagine that it sucks just a little bit more at the holidays.  My thoughts and love go out to all of you out there who are doing it on your own this holiday season.

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