According to iPEC, I am now a certified professional coach. However, I don't have a single client, so am I really a coach? Stupid question, I know. Is a doctor still a doctor when they're not seeing patients? Of course they are. So yes, I really am a coach. But I don't have a coaching business right now. And I'm completely at a loss for how to create one. There are all these different things that I can do, from creating a presence through social media to finding ways to network with real people to who knows what else.
Part of my issue right now is that my confidence in myself as a coach is kinda low. Not that I don't make a difference with people when I coach them, because I'm clear that I do. But right now I don't have any clients, so I'm not getting to experience myself that way. Additionally, the confidence I have in my message as a coach is even lower. So when I start to have a conversation with someone about what I do, I feel like a blustering idiot. And yes, I know that to gain confidence in talking to people, I have to actually talk to people. And though it feels incredibly awkward right now, it will get less awkward as time goes on until I don't even think about it anymore because it's just second nature. Really, I'd like to skip all the middle part and just get to that last part right now. Any ideas how to do that??
I really really really don't want to sabotage this new business that I'm creating, and I'm clear that the only thing standing in the way of my success right now is ME. Part of the issue is that it's comfortable and easy for me to fill my time with other things. Lunches with friends, workouts, appointments...all sorts of things that take up my time and leave me with no time for building my coaching business. I did the same thing when I had FitnessWave, so I already have this image of myself as someone who doesn't successfully market her business. And of course, if I have no confidence in myself as a coach or in the message I'm spreading, and if I'm uncomfortable talking to people about what I do, it makes perfect sense that I would want to fill my time with other things and give myself a convenient excuse not to go out there and build the business.
Here's what I haven't said so far because it's an ugly truth for me: While there's a (large?) part of me that really wants to succeed in this business as a coach and really make a difference for a huge amount of people while bringing in a great income, I think that there's a (large?) part of me that has already decided that it's not going to happen, and I'm going to fail. Not be a bad coach, because that's not who I am, but fail to grow the business and thrive as a coach. And really, if there's ANY part of me that has already made that decision, then I'm kind of screwed.
Add to that the fact that I'm comparing myself to all these people around me who are finding great success as coaches and really working hard to build their businesses (and succeeding at it), and I end up in quite a funk.
So I find myself wallowing in this crappy headspace that I'm in, and thus far not finding my way out of it. I'm sure that this, too, shall pass. Ironic that as a coach I am totally equipped to get other people out of funks like this, but not myself! At least not so far...
4 comments:
Thanks for this blog post, Iris! I have the same head trash talking to me. You are an amazing coach and I know that you can and will have a successful coaching business. Keeping setting all the "poo" in your head aside, thank it for sharing, and start taking actions where you know they need to be taken...and I'm going to go do the same. :)
Thank you for sharing. Currently I am at the tail end of that ugly phase that you so wonderfully shared. I realized that I need to use some of the tools that IPEC taught on myself.
In other words, I needed to fully understand the GAILs and apply them to my life. I had to approach myself as if i was coaching me.
Most importantly, you are sailing in uncharted waters. New experiences and expectations can bring about uncertainties and fear.
Your struggle is needed to propel you to the next level. Do not fight your feelings, don't try to explain or rationalize, just try and be yourself.
Finally, I know some of the best coaches and counselors are where they are because because the "walked the talk". At this moment you are walking right through it all...breathe and know you are loved, Regards Tom
Just need to say.... I LOVE YOU! I can't wait to see what comes from this. Take notes, girl. You'll have a lot of clients who go through this part and maybe this time for you will give you some trademark tools and phrases to share with them!
Iris, I built my business from and idea during a time when the economy was at it's lowest. I left my job, had nothing coming in. Relying on my husband to carry us through. I was scared and depress. Both of those together cause procrastination. I would rather sit on the couch and watch TV, go to lunch with friends, etc.
I asked my self what is my why. I knew I never wanted to go back to corporate America and work for someone else. Be on their time. they tell me when I can leave, take a vacation, be sick, not be sick.
So I made a change. I got up every morning just like I was going to a J.O.B., I worked 8 hours a day. I networked, I worked for free at events. I found my voice. People will not bite.
I was lucky I found a networking group of some of the greatest people, it's how I found your parents. But I worked hard. I never let anyone tell me I can not do this, not even myself. I never let the economy get me down.
Now I have an extremely successful business. Yes there are days I want to stay in bed, I make mistakes, but I have learned and moved on.
Learn and live your elevator speech. you will enjoy it. Walk the walk and fake it till you make it!
Ask you self what is your why? Your parents do not get to go on these cool trips for nothing. They found their why and worked hard. Now they get too play.
It will come. every morning. Press, & dress yourself for success. Do not take NO for answer, even if it's coming from you. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. Sometimes you might need some help eating the elephant. We are all here for you.
Cheers my Friend, Suzy
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