I had a coaching session today with my peer coach, Patrick. We've been working together since mid-December, so he's gotten to know a little bit about me. Today I was talking about feeling behind on my iPEC course work, and we talked some about what I can do to feel more on top of things and also about patting myself on the back for what I *am* doing and staying on top of. At one point he asked me how important the iPEC program is in my life. I thought about it for a while, and it's one of the big things that I'm investing my time in these days, even if I don't feel that I'm spending *enough* time on it, so it's definitely important.
Somehow in the midst of this conversation, I started telling him about these meditation CDs that I bought at the first iPEC weekend, and how I haven't listened to them yet. I told him how meditation is one of those things that I really want to do because people talk about how great it is, and I feel like I could really get value out of it. In the book that we were assigned to read for the program, the coach talks about using meditation techniques to center himself before important meetings or events, which sounds like it could be useful. So far in my life I've had one or two experiences of "good" meditation, where I really managed to still my mind for a while and go to a "deeper" state, and that's about it.
So, I'm talking to Patrick about really wanting to schedule some time in this week to explore the meditation CDs, and he asks me another question (because that's what coaches do!). Is it possible, he asks, that maybe the fact that you're not making time for the meditation CDs is an indication that they're not actually that important to you right now? And, he adds, that's okay. They don't need to be important to you. Can you be okay with that?
Huh. Not that this is anything earth shattering, ground breaking, or even new to me. But apparently that moment was the perfect time for me to hear it. The lesson? I get to say what's important to me, I get to say what I spend my time on, and, most importantly, I don't have to beat myself up for all the things I think I want to do but don't actually make time for. I can just be okay with the fact that right now, they're not actually that important to me. That will probably free up a lot of brain space and energy. Thank you, Patrick!! :)
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