Orthodox For a Day

Disclaimer:  My knowledge about Judaism is a little spotty, so please excuse any errors!

This morning my nephew had the synagogue part of his Bar Mitzvah.  Because my brother and his family are Orthodox Jews, attending this event was not as simple as just showing up.  See, the Jewish Sabbath begins at sundown on Friday and ends Saturday after sundown.  And during the Sabbath, there are all sorts of dos and don'ts to follow.  In my day-to-day life, I do not follow these rules.  I do not keep Kosher, and I do not observe the Sabbath.  My brother and his family do.  And for this event, my brother requested that nobody break the Sabbath to attend my nephew's Bar Mitzvah.

So...what to do? 

Over the years, I have tried to be at as many special events for the kids as has been feasible.  I've been at birthdays, circumcisions, special performances...and a Bar Mitzvah is a pretty big deal!  So I made arrangements for a hotel room near my brother's house and also walking distance from the synagogue.  Ordinarily I would have just stayed at their house, but with my sister-in-law's parents visiting from Israel, there wasn't any room for me.  My plan was to arrive in Palo Alto on Friday afternoon before the Sabbath began, check into the hotel, and then go hang out with my brother's family for the Sabbath dinner.  After that I would go back to the hotel to sleep, walk to the synagogue on Saturday morning to see my nephew read from the Torah, and then spend the day at my brother's house until the Sabbath ended when I would drive back to my parents' house.  Simple!

Yesterday afternoon I was g-chatting with my brother about what time I should get there.  He asked me if I was going to make arrangements with the hotel so that one of their employees could let me into my room during the Sabbath so that I wasn't initiating electricity (a Sabbath no-no!).  Suddenly I realized that just staying nearby so that I could walk to the synagogue wasn't going to be enough.  Not breaking the Sabbath means so much more than just not driving!  So in what's turning out to be my M.O., I threw a small temper tantrum about this before coming to a more rational place about it.  In the shower, where I apparently do some of my best thinking, I realized that if I was going to do this thing, I was going to do it all the way.  To get a hotel room but then use my cell phone, turn lights on and off, etc. was still breaking the Sabbath and disrespecting my brother's wishes.  I might as well just not go in that case.  And since I flew up here to be at my nephew's Bar Mitzvah, I was going to do it right.

I called my brother and asked him what his expectations were about me keeping the Sabbath.  He said that he would like for me to keep it as fully as possible.  I had him lay out what exactly that meant:  no turning lights on and off (leave a light on in the hotel room, preferably in a place with a door I could close), no using the electronic key card to get into the room, no using any phones/computers/etc., and a few other odds and ends.  Initially, I was most upset at the fact that I wouldn't be able to say goodnight to Donovan before going to bed, which is quite important to me.  Donovan did a great job bringing me around to seeing this whole thing as an adventure, and I got to text him a good night message at 4:30pm just before turning off my phone for the duration.  Thankfully the hotel is used to these kinds of requests from traveling Jews, and the guy at the front desk was great about the whole thing.  When I came back from my brother's house last night, he came right out with my key and opened the door to my hotel room for me.

I had a really nice time spending the 26 hours (minus sleeping time) with my brother and his family.  I got to hold the baby a lot (yay, shots!), I got to see my nephew read from the Torah for his Bar Mitzvah, and I got to spend some good quality time with my nephews, niece, brother and sister-in-law.  And other than not being able to text or talk with Donovan, it really wasn't that painful!  What's more, both my brother and sister-in-law acknowledged me for really going the extra mile to be there and respect their religion.

I'm not going to say that I want to adopt this as my lifestyle, and it's good to know that I can successfully do it every once in a while when needed!