A Week Off

I am taking a week off from blogging.  I'll be back at the beginning of 2012!!!  Happy New Year!!!!!!  :)

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Merry Christmas!

I'm Jewish.  Therefore, Christmas is not a holiday that I grew up celebrating.  However I am married to a man who celebrates Christmas and before that I was in a long-term relationship with someone who celebrates Christmas, so I've been celebrating Christmas since 1996 (bad Jew!!).  I enjoy the holiday...the pretty lights, the festivities, the friends and family coming together.  It's never been a religious thing for me, nor thankfully for the men in my life.

We had a really nice Christmas today.  We stayed in bed til about 1:00pm, lounged around, texted holiday greetings to loved ones, opened presents, had some lunch, and then went over to my very good friend Laurie's house for Christmas dinner.  I'm not sure how many Christmases I've spent with Laurie and her family, but it's definitely been a few.  The kids had already eaten by the time we got there, so we sat down at the table with Laurie and her husband, Gary, Laurie's sister and her husband, and Laurie's mom and her husband.  We had a nice dinner of ham (bad Jew!!), green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls, red wine, eggnog, and almond champagne.  After that we had dessert:  homemade pumpkin pie, Claim Jumpers apple pie, cool whip (of course!), and my awesome pumpkin pie martinis.  We played on the PS3 for hours, Laurie and I took the dog for a nice long walk, and a very good time was had by all!  One of the highlights of the evening was Laurie's nine year old daughter "doing my hair".  My niece and nephews do this to me occasionally, and it generally yields amusing results. 

My awesome hair-do tonight

 Being with Laurie and her family for the holiday was really great.  It felt like it was just as it should be, and we were in exactly the right place with the right people.  I hope that you had a great Christmas, too.  Merry Christmas!  :)

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Family Gatherings

Last night we went to a 70th birthday party for my uncle (sort of).  It's the main reason that we flew up to San Jose a mere week and a half after we were just there.  My aunt (sort of) had invited us and really wanted us to come, so we did.  The party wasn't small and wasn't huge...probably around 40 people, and was at my cousin's house.  They brought in a sushi chef and his crew, and they made super yummy sushi for us on the spot.  There was music, dancing, college basketball, watching tribute movies, a massive Hanukkah candle lighting...generally a fun fun time was had by all!

This year has been quite full of family gatherings.  We first attended Passover at my aunt's (sort of) house in April, then came back up for my cousin's wedding in July.  Then there was my bridal shower up in Saratoga also in July, then our wedding in August, then I was up for Rosh Hashana in September, then my dad's 70th birthday in October, my nephew's Bar Mitzvah in November, my dad's second-round 70th birthday a week and a half ago, and now this party.  Many of the same people, mostly family, were at all of these gatherings. 

I've really been enjoying getting to spend so much time with my extended family.  They are really great people, who are a lot of fun to be around, and we always laugh a *lot* when we're together.  Granted, it's been a lot of flying up to the Bay Area, probably more than we would have otherwise chosen to do.  On the plus side, I'm pretty sure I got A-list status on Southwest for 2012 because of it!

I am a very lucky girl to have so many amazing and loving people in my extended family.  And I am also very lucky that we all live so relatively close to one another!  Holidays and special occasions just wouldn't be the same without the "clan" around.  I plan to keep enjoying all the moments we all get to spend together.  :)

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Hanukkah

Hanukkah is one of a few Jewish holidays that I usually celebrate in some form.  I try to light candles for at least *one* of the eight nights.  I've developed sort of a tradition where I'll call my parents before I light the candles, and then we sing the songs and whatnot together over the phone.  It's fun, and it gives me a sense of family and togetherness while "on my own" in San Diego.  Today I'm up in the Bay Area with my parents, so we got to do the candle lighting together in person!  My aunt and uncle (sort of) and my parents' good friends from Israel were here too, so it was very fun.

For me, Hanukkah has always been about family, friends, candle lighting, latkes (potato pancakes)...  Growing up we would do at least one night of Hanukkah with a big group of friends/family, with each family lighting their own menorah.  It was always such a blast, with good food and lots of singing and laughing. 

I haven't held on to a lot of Jewish traditions, but Hanukkah is one that I think I will always want in my life.  It's special to me, and there's a lot of nostalgia tied to it.  I'm sure that as we start a family we'll start our own Hanukkah traditions, and create something special for our kids to blog about someday!  :)

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Ugly Sweater

I've never been to an ugly sweater party, but I guess they're all the rage around the holidays.  On Sunday at the cookie exchange, my friend Michael (Bob the Builder's partner in crime) showed off an ugly sweater he had made for Bob's wife, Bonnie, for an ugly sweater party she had at work.  It's so awesome...a work of art!!!  He hand-painted the tree and then attached all sorts of fun stuff onto it.

 Bonnie's ugly sweater

I immediately knew that I needed to have one of these one-of-a-kind Michael original ugly sweaters.  I requested that he make one for me, and he quickly agreed.  Little did I know that two days later I would have an awesome ugly sweater of my own!  Last night Michael called me to ask what size sweater to get.  And this morning when Bob and Michael came to work, the sweater was done!  I couldn't believe it!!  It's glorious!!!  Different than Bonnie's, and uniquely ME!

First of all, it's pink.  Enough said.  And it's BLINGY!!!  Plus, it jingles.  I mean, seriously!  This thing is just awesome!!!  I wore it tonight to a holiday party, and everyone loved it.  Kudos to you, Michael!  You've got some serious talent!!!  :)

Sushi

Have I told you how much I love sushi?  Sushi could possibly be my favorite food.  So much so that pregnancy scares me because I won't be able to have sushi for nine months!  I could eat sushi multiple times a week.  It's so yummy!!!!  Here's the thing...I don't love just any sushi.  I am a sushi snob!!!  I have been spoiled by some pretty darned amazing sushi, and so I have pretty high standards.

I'm a fan of both the nigiri-style slices of raw fish on rice and also rolls.  Not so much a sashimi fan...I usually need a little bit of rice to cut the fish taste/texture.  Salmon is my all-time favorite raw fish.  But it's got to be good salmon, not fishy salmon.  Melt-in-your-mouth salmon so soft that you can cut it with a chopstick.  That's my litmus test for raw fish.  If I can take a piece of nigiri and cut it in half smoothly with just chopsticks, I know I'm in good shape.  I also love yellowtail a lot.  I'll eat other fish, but those are my favorites.

Our favorite sushi place is called Akai Hana, and it's in Rancho Bernardo.  It used to be called Shien of Osaka.  Mr. Nakamura, who is the manager and best sushi chef EVER makes us anything and everything we ask for.  I've got a few stock rolls that I get there, and he modifies them for me special, and they're AMAZING!  I have yet to find another place in San Diego that has the quality of fish and the amazingness of rolls that are found at Akai Hana.  There is a place right by our house called Kappa Sushi that's pretty good.  I do more of the raw fish there and less of the rolls, which I don't find nearly as impressive as Mr. Nakamura's.

We went to Akai Hana tonight with my best friend Sheri and her husband Dan.  Never a dull moment when we go to eat sushi together!  We had a blast!!  Great friends, amazing sushi...what more could a girl ask for?  :)

A tray of sushi from my bridal shower in August at Akai Hana

Cookie Exchange

Today was our second annual holiday cookie exchange here at the Meyers house.  This year we did it as a brunch, which was really fun!  If you've never been to a cookie exchange, here's how it works:  everybody brings 4-5 dozen cookies that they've baked (or bought), and you lay them out on a table.  You hang out, eat and whatever, and then it's time for the exchange part.  How we do it is that everyone circles around the table with all the cookies, and then we take turns saying which cookies we made, and why they're significant (if they are).  Then we all take an empty container and walk around the table taking a few of each cookie that people brought.  So what you end up with at the end is a container full of lots of different cookies!

I went to my first cookie exchange a few years ago and really liked the idea, so I started having them myself.  Last year we did it here at Donovan's house, and we had a pretty good turnout.  This year, we had about 25 people!  The spread of cookies was IMPRESSIVE!!!

The spread of cookies (it might have gotten bigger after this pic was taken...)

I had a special request from my friend Jen to make my apparently famous cookies...it's a peanut butter cookie dough wrapped around a miniature Snickers and then baked and drizzled with a chocolate glaze.  They're kind of insane!  (In the picture they're second from the right in front on the circular red tray)  Donovan experimented with a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie recipe and added toasted sesame seeds.  Yum!

It was really great to have people from all different areas of my life hanging out together and shmoozing.  People seemed to be having a really great time.  And we got to show off our new house to everyone!  It was also fun to publicly acknowledge Bob and Michael for all the work they've done on the house.  :)

All in all I think the party was a success, and it's a holiday tradition that I plan to continue for years to come!

Cookie exchange time!

An Interview With Donovan, 2nd Edition

Back by popular demand, it's An Interview With Donovan, 2nd Edition!!!

Me:  What shall we talk about today?
Donovan:  Whatever you want, my darling.

Me:  Okay, so how are you liking your newly remodeled house?
Donovan:  I absolutely love it.  It's like a new house.  I can't even remember how it was.  I can't imagine how it was.  I look around, and it's like someone else's house...like, nice house.  (laughing) It partly feels like someone else's house because most of the stuff I didn't choose.  So it's like the house of someone else who has really good taste.

Me:  Do you really feel like you didn't choose most of the stuff?
Donovan:  Yes, but I don't feel that I wasn't involved.  And I don't feel like there's anything I wouldn't choose.  And I don't think there's anything that I don't like.  I do want to replace a lot of light bulbs with something that uses less energy.  But I'm extremely extremely excited about the Wi-Fi enabled thermostat!
Me:  I don't know about the lower energy light bulbs...it depends on how well they light the house.  I would hate to have gone to all the trouble of installing all these overhead lights just to put some weeny-ass light bulbs in them and not feel like I have enough light.
Donovan:  I totally get that, and I know you feel that way.  And technology has come a really long way.  And I know that there are bulbs that we can find that satisfy my energy concerns and your light desires.
Me:  Let's hope so!
Donovan:  Do you not think that's possible?  You sound doubtful.
Me:  I have yet to see a low-energy bulb that lights up bright when you first turn it on, and puts out a good amount of light.
Donovan:  Well, that sounds like your wishlist, or even your requirements, which is good for me to know when I go shopping.

Me:  So what's your favorite part of the house so far?
Donovan:  It's got to be the office.  I love the new carpet and the baseboards and the switches and all the outlets and the can lights.  And we have that all over the house, and we have that in the office, and the office also has our awesome new desks.
Me:  What's so awesome about our desks?
Donovan:  They look great, they have lots of space, and we set them up so that the two of us can be working on stuff and be together.
Me:  Awwwww...
Donovan:  And somehow I got the side where I can see out the window.
Me:  Yeah, that's because I didn't want my back facing the stairs.
Donovan:  Command position.  Smart girl.

Donovan:  I'm really looking forward to showing the house off again on Sunday.
Me:  What's happening on Sunday?
Donovan:  You know.
Me:  Humor me.
Donovan:  (shakes head)  Your cookie party, baby!  Brunch!
Me:  Mine?  Mine?
Donovan:  Are you trying to say that it's ours?
Me:  Yes.
Donovan:  (shakes head again)  It's yours.
Me:  Holiday Cookie Exchange Brunch!!!  :)  Yay!!! (I typed that before I said it)
Donovan:  You're very cute!

And so concludes the 2nd Edition of An Interview With Donovan.  Feel free to suggest topics for future interviews!  :)

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Humbling

My friend Katie e-mailed me a poem yesterday, a twist on 'Twas the Night Before Christmas:

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

HE LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM  HOUSE MADE OF

PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY

WITH  PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO

IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I  LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO  PRESENTS,

NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

JUST BOOTS FILLED  WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES

OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH  MEDALS AND BADGES,

AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT

CAME THROUGH MY  MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND  THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY  SLEEPING,

SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR

IN THIS ONE BEDROOM  HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I  PICTURED

A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO

OF WHOM I'D  JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES

THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS

WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,

THE  CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE

A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS  DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM

EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF  THE SOLDIERS,

LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER

HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE

IN A LAND FAR FROM  HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT

BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY  KNEES

AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED

AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

'SANTA DON'T CRY,

THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,

I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD,

MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER

AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,

I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,

SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED

FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE

ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR

SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

'MERRY  CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND!

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

Katie's husband is in the military, and she lives a life that I will never understand.  I have other friends with military spouses as well.  The months spent apart, the fear, the not-knowing...it's something that I think non-military families can't truly comprehend.  I never really thought much about it until I started coming into contact with more and more military people.  San Diego is a military town, and when I was running my fitness testing business, I would get my fair share of military folk coming in for testing.  I like to strike up conversations with people, and so I would learn all sorts of things about deployments, both from the deploying side, and from the home side. 

I'm so happy that the man I fell in love with and chose to spend the rest of my life with isn't in the military.  I know that I *could* handle it, just like I know that I *can* handle anything that life throws at me.  And I'm also very clear that I wouldn't choose that life.

I have an enormous amount of respect for the men and women who serve and protect this country so that the rest of us won't have to.  The men and women who choose separation from their loved ones, less-than-stellar living conditions, danger, fear, and so many other things that we can't even fathom.  Who choose these things because they love this country and the freedoms it affords all of us.  And I have an enormous amount of respect for their spouses, who put up with the separations, the fears, the silences...who raise their children alone and keep the machine running until their soldier comes home.

They live this life year-round, and I can only imagine that it sucks just a little bit more at the holidays.  My thoughts and love go out to all of you out there who are doing it on your own this holiday season.

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Dinner?

I'm noticing an interesting trend with myself about dinner.  So here we are, and it's 6:00pm.  Donovan is working until 7:30pm, so it's not yet dinner time.  Earlier today I had the intention of cooking us dinner tonight, the same intention I have had on countless many other days.  I didn't go to the grocery store earlier when I had the clear intention of cooking us dinner.  And now it's 6:00pm, it's dark and cold outside, I'm hungry, and my motivation to get off my ass and go to the store is pretty much nil.  This happens a lot.

I want to be a good wife and have dinner waiting on the table for my husband when he gets home from work.  I know that it's healthier for us to eat at home than to eat out.  It's also cheaper.  And right now neither that desire nor that knowledge is helping me get up and go to the store!

Earlier today I even thought, since I've been observing this trend in myself lately, "I should go to the store before it gets dark out.  I should make sure to get everything I need to make dinner while I'm still motivated to do it."  I thought it, but I didn't do it.

So...have Donovan pick up dinner from The Kebab Shop on the way home?  Or bundle my ass up in a jacket, go to the store, and come home and cook us dinner?   Hmmmm....

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Four shelves

The latest phase of our remodel includes the master bathroom and upstairs powder room.  The powder room is still quite in process, but the master bathroom is almost finished.  What used to be in the master bathroom was a big ugly structure that had stupid fluorescent tubes in it and a big six-foot by three-foot mirror.

The bathroom before, with big ugly structure and giant mirror 

What we planned to do was knock out the big ugly structure with the fluorescent tubes and instead put vanity lights in.  Michael, Bob the Builder's brilliant assistant, suggested that we take down the big giant mirror and instead put up an oval mirror over each sink, and put glass shelves up in between the two mirrors for my perfumes.  See, my perfumes have been living on the bathroom counter for quite some time now, pretty much obliterating any counter space to the left of my sink.  I had told Michael that I wanted shelves for my perfumes, but I assumed it would be to the left of my sink next to the medicine cabinet, since that was pretty much the only place they could go.  Michael, however, thinks outside the box.  So we found oval mirrors that were just the right size, and then I began my search for the perfect glass shelves.

Remodeled bathroom before the shelves

I was looking for shelves that were 18" wide and at least 5" deep.  Harder to find than you would expect, at least for a reasonable price.  After looking at Home Depot, Lowes, Target, and online, I finally found the perfect shelves at Bed Bath and Beyond.  The best part?  They were $20 each, I used a $5 off coupon on each one, and I had a $68 credit which pretty much made them free!

The end result?  Amazing!  Who would have thought that four little shelves could make such a big difference?  I am a happy, happy girl!!!  :)

Remodeled bathroom after the shelves

My World Premiere...

Last night was the world premiere of the video I made for my dad's 70th birthday.  My parents were there, Donovan and I were there, and two other couples were there.  We had a nice dinner first, and then we all headed down to the theater (yes, my parents have a theater) to watch the movie.  I was definitely nervous! 

Thankfully, everyone loved it!!  :)

I got some nice compliments from everyone, but the best was when my dad told me (more than once) that he was very proud of me.  Yep, I'm 37 years old, and my daddy's approval still means the world to me.

Interestingly, today I seemed to be experiencing some post-premiere depression (as Donovan calls it).  I've been working in earnest on the video for the past few weeks, but it's been on my plate for the past three months or so.  I think maybe this is what brides experience after the wedding (did I?), when all of the sudden that big thing you've been working on and planning for is done.

Not to worry, I've got something new to focus my energy on! :)  Actually, I've been neglecting my coaching program assignments for the past few weeks while I've been working on the video, so now I get to dive in full force!  I'll keep you posted on how it goes...

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Old Friends

I got back a little while ago from a baby shower for my friend Natalie here in the Bay Area.  I've known Natalie since I was six years old.  Her parents and my parents met back then and became best friends and for years and years our families did everything together.  Trips, holidays, and regular hanging out.  Some of my best memories from age six on are from occasions our families spent together.  Every winter we would go to Lake Tahoe for a week and rent a house or a cabin with both families together.  We would ski, hang out, and generally have a good time.  Passovers, Hanukahs...so many traditions and memories formed in those years!

Natalie and I in 1987

Since I have been working on my dad's 70th birthday video, I have been looking through a lot of pictures and videos, and there are many of Natalie and her family throughout the years, which maybe made me a bit nostalgic for the good old days.

When I think back about my friendship with Natalie, we spent a lot of time together early on, and then in our teens it seemed to wane a bit.  We weren't really close friends, but we were old friends who had known each other forever...almost more like family than friends.  Over the years we haven't really kept in touch except for the occasional holiday where we would see each other.  I didn't make it to her wedding last year (we were on the East Coast), which was a bummer.  She came to my bridal shower up here in July, and she came down to San Diego for the wedding as well.  It was really great to have her there!

Being at her baby shower today was kind of a fluke.  Donovan and I were coming up here for my dad's big video unveiling (happening tonight!) and my mom was invited to the baby shower, so I tagged along.  I'm so glad that I got to be there!  It was great to get to talk to Natalie about her pregnancy and what's going on with her life (it's funny...I don't know why we don't keep in touch more.  We have such a long history together, and we clearly enjoy each other's company...).  I got to sit next to Natalie throughout most of the baby shower, including when all of our moms' friends were sharing their stories and advice, which was hilarious!  It was just really nice to sit next to my old friend and share that experience with her.  She's one of the people I've known longest in my life, and it's nice to know that whether we talk once a year or once a month, Natalie and I will always be in each other's lives.

Holiday Cards?

A couple of weeks ago, Donovan asked me if we could send out holiday cards this year.  My response (more or less):  "Are you kidding me?!?  I still have a giant stack of thank you cards from our wedding to send out!  Our wedding was three and a half months ago!!!  And now you want to send out holiday cards?!?"  Poor, sweet Donovan.  He so does not deserve my responses and reactions most of the time!

In an ideal world, I would love to send out holiday cards.  In an ideal world, I would love to have finished sending thank you cards for our wedding by now, too!  I created these amazing thank you cards for our wedding (if I do say so myself) and got them printed from Shutterfly a couple of months ago.  They're really great, and they have a message printed inside, and I still feel like I need to include a hand-written message to each of our guests, which takes time.  Lots of other people get married and successfully send out their thank you cards, and here I am three and a half months after the fact, still with over half the cards left to send.  So if you haven't gotten your thank you card from the wedding yet, just know that it's coming!

Could sending out holiday cards be simple?  Probably.  We could do one of those Costco photo cards and not sign them and just send them out...that just means addressing envelopes.  Or we could write one of those our-year-in-a-nutshell letters with a couple photos and not sign them...so once again just addressing envelopes and stuffing them.  It is not at all unreasonable to think that we could do this.  My problem is that I feel like I can't send out holiday cards until I finish sending out the wedding thank you's.  For a while (a few days?) after my last post about the wedding thank you's I was doing five a day with pretty good success.  And then I stopped. Will I ever get them done??

Why do I let myself get so overwhelmed by stuff like this?!?  Maybe I should use my weekly sessions with my peer coach to figure this out...

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Kudos to My Dad

For as long as I can remember, every time there has been a milestone special occasion in our family, my dad has made a this-is-your-life type of video.  Birthdays, graduations, weddings... Back before digital video editing, this meant taking a video camera and recording pictures one by one from a photo album to get the video and then adding titles with paper and adding music.  Most recently, my dad made me one of these videos for my bridal shower.

 

Up until just a few weeks ago, I didn't fully appreciate what goes into making these videos.  I loved watching them, and I always had something critical to say about them.  My dad used too many pictures from the same occasion, or he let a video clip run too long...  Well, NO LONGER!!

Why?  Because I have spent the past several weeks working on a video for my dad's 70th birthday.  Actually, the process started in late September when my mom and I did a three day data gathering party while my dad was in Israel.  I flew up to San Jose and for three days I sat in front of my dad's computer looking through seventy years of photos.  In the meantime, my mom had been working nonstop the week before I got there to convert all sorts of vhs and 8mm videos to digital so that I could use them.  After that trip I sort of let making the video take a backseat to other stuff going on in my life.

Thanksgiving week I started working on the video.  I've pretty much done no video editing in my life save for one class I took in college using antiquated equipment.  I certainly haven't done any digital video editing, and  I wasn't really sure where to start.  Thankfully, we have access to a Mac laptop which has iMovie built in to it.  I started playing around with iMovie and eventually figured out the best way to go about creating the project.  I decided to put the pictures in chronological order, which was somewhat challenging with the early pictures of my dad's life, so I did a lot of guessing.  I had a total of over 800 pictures to use, and video on top of that.  Once I got all the pictures and videos where I wanted them, I went through and weeded out a bunch to make the video shorter.  And then did that again.  And then I went through each picture individually and made sure that the effects for each shot worked right.  Then came adding transitions, music, and titles.  It all sounds quite simple when written out here, and it took *countless* hours to do!  Partly it's tedious work, and partly I'm a perfectionist.  I don't want the movie to be too long, I don't want it to be boring, I want to make sure my dad will love it...

My goal was to have the video finished by tonight.  This Saturday Donovan and I are flying up to San Jose and on Saturday night we're having a mini birthday party for my dad where we're going to show the video.  Even yesterday I had my doubts about getting it done in time.  But...guess what?  Tonight I finished the movie!  Mostly.  I'm going to export it and see how it does, and see if there are things I need to change.  I'd say it's 99.5% done.  :)

The moral of the story is...I have a whole new level of respect for my dad for making those videos for every special occasion for so many years.  My hat off to you, sir!!!

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I Love Las Vegas!

We're sitting in the Vegas airport, waiting for our flight home.  We didn't end up doing the half marathon, and we still had an absolute blast.  I don't know what it is about Vegas, but I just *love* it!  I love the bright lights, I love the huge out-of-control hotels, I love the fountain at Bellagio, I love the throngs of people everywhere, I love the casinos, I love the shopping, I love the yummy restaurants, I love the shows, I love walking around, I love that you can find pretty much anything you're looking for...Vegas is just so much fun!

I know that some people hate Las Vegas, but I am not one of them.  Last time we were here was over a year and a half ago, and when we left last time, I made Donovan promise that we would come back soon.  Apparently I should have defined "soon" a little better.  :)  We didn't see any shows this time, by design, and we still didn't have time to do everything we wanted to!  We gambled a few hours each day...some slots (me!) and some table games (both of us). 

Sunday night, when we were supposed to be running/walking the half-marathon, we had a great dinner at Battista's Hole in the Wall Italian restaurant, and then spent a few hours in the casino at the Flamingo hotel.  We started at the Three Card Poker table, which Donovan loves.  The table didn't love him so much, and we walked away $100 lighter.  Then we sat down at the Crazy Four Poker table, which is an interesting variation of poker, where you only play four of the five cards you're dealt.  I lost $100 there.  After that we moved over to the Let it Ride table, where we each ended up getting a full house at some point, and Donovan walked away with $300 in his pocket, and I recouped my losses and walked away with $200!  It was a very fun night.

Last night we got to have dinner with my cousin, who lives in Las Vegas.  He picked us up and took us to an all-you-can-eat sushi place off the strip.  We met his wife and daughter there, and spent a few fun hours hanging out and eating with them.  We've actually gotten to see them a few times this year at family occasions, and it was really great to see them on their own turf!

Today we walked from our hotel behind the Flamingo down to The Shoppes at Mandalay Place (quite a ways away for those of you unfamiliar with Vegas) to have lunch at Burger Bar.  Burger Bar is one of those build-your-own-burger places, and they have some fun ingredients you can add to your burger like foie gras (which Donovan gets) or extremely expensive truffle pieces.  It's quite yum.  We walked back and managed to catch one last fountain show at Bellagio before heading to the airport.

There's definitely a limit to how long I can spend in Vegas.  I think that three nights is perfect.  More than that, and the gluttony becomes overwhelming.  I definitely want to go back sooner than another year and a half from now.  I wonder if every six months would be too often?

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How to Not Do a Half-Marathon

Donovan and I came to Las Vegas this weekend to do the Rock N Roll half-marathon which is happening...um...NOW.  Why am I blogging instead of walking/running the half-marathon?  It's a funny story...

Our flight landed in Las Vegas last night (Saturday) a little after 8:00pm.  We took a taxi to the hotel, got checked in, went to our room, and then set out to explore and find dinner.  We finally sat down to eat dinner at the Grand Luxe Cafe in the Venetian at about 10:00pm.  I was texting with Brian, as he and Robin are here for the half-marathon as well.  I asked Brian whether he'd gotten any information from the race organizers, since I hadn't.  He said yes, suggested I look in my spam folder, and forwarded me the e-mail.  I started looking through all the information he sent, and realized that the Expo where we were supposed to pick up our race packets was only running on Friday and Saturday, not on Sunday before the race (which didn't start until 5:30pm on Sunday).  Okay, no big deal, I'm sure we could still get our packets.  I asked Brian about it, and he sent me to a web page which talked about how the first 1,000 people (there are 44,000 registered for the race) who paid an extra $40 on top of the $130 for the race entry could pick up their race packets on Sunday.  The deadline for this was November 27th.  And it was sold out.

About now is when I'm starting to get somewhat pissed off.  I'm not totally sure at whom.  Partially the race organizers for totally failing to send either me or Donovan any information (we both checked all possible e-mail locations, and didn't get anything from them since we registered in March), and mostly at myself for totally failing to realize ahead of time that I didn't have any information about the race weekend.  Had we known about packet pick-up ahead of time, we would have scheduled our flights differently so that we could get to the Expo on Saturday.  And if not that, then at least we would have known about the $40 race-day pick-up option in time to choose whether or not we wanted to do it.

Donovan at this point is trying to figure out a way for us to still do the race.  We could go over to the start area today (Sunday) and see if we can get someone to give us our race packets since we never got any information from them, blah blah blah.  I'm not really loving the idea of getting all geared up, making our way over to Mandalay Bay, and then finding out that we can't do the event.  Truth be told, I've been sort of iffy about the whole half-marathon thing for a few weeks now.  It's been clear to me for a month or two that we would be walking and not running, since I hadn't done the run training necessary for this distance.  And walking 13.1 miles in 40-something degree temperatures wasn't sounding so fun to me anymore!

Today we were hanging out and doing stuff, and not really planning our time well.  About 2:30 in the afternoon we started talking about making our way over to Mandalay Bay, and I was really not feeling it.  In the end, we made our peace with not doing the event, and we spent a really nice afternoon in the hotel room, where we watched a movie while having a late lunch.  Around 6:00pm, we decided to go out to the strip to see if there were still any runners going by.  Boy were there!  The half-marathoners were going by in a constant stream, and while we were standing there, we saw the first full marathoner heading back towards the finish.  We were less than two miles from the finish line, and the marathon clock was at 2:15 when it passed us.  That guy was *flying*!!  Standing up on the bridge watching all the runners go by below, I was very happy with our choice not to do the half-marathon today.  It is still my intention to complete a half-marathon in the next few years, and this wasn't the one!  And I'm very clear that even without doing the race, Donovan and I are still having a fantastic few days in Vegas!!  :)

Half-marathoners running north on the strip

Riverdance is Da Bomb!

We just got home from seeing Riverdance at the Civic Theater.  Riverdance is my most favoritest show in the whole wide world!!  This was Donovan's first time seeing it.  I've actually lost count of how many times I've seen it.  I make it a point to see it at every opportunity I have, sometimes seeing it twice in the week that it's here in San Diego.  I seriously never get tired of seeing those dances and hearing that music.  I know the score like the back of my hand...every beat and every note.

The dancers in this show are unbelievable.  How their legs and feet do what they do is totally beyond me.  And the way that they are so synchronized with each other...so very cool!  My two favorite things out of the show are the moments where they dance with the hard shoes and no music, and when they do the big line with everyone in it.  Wow.  Just wow!

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On the way home, Donovan was looking some stuff up on his phone, and he found out that they are ending the U.S. Riverdance touring company as of June 2012!  What?!?  Why would they do that?  Yes, they've been touring the U.S. for fifteen years, but come on!  Don't take away my Riverdance!!!  I had no idea that tonight could very well have been my last chance to see Riverdance here in San Diego.  Very sad!!!  Donovan is already scheming about where else in the U.S. we could go to see them before they go away for good.

They're here tomorrow and Sunday too, if any of you in San Diego want to see them.  It is SO worthwhile!!  I swear, if we weren't going to Vegas tomorrow, I'd go see them again!

I Love Our Cats, But...

Our cats are skating on some very very thin ice with me right now.  

As you probably know, we've been doing some remodeling on the house since September.  It has not been an inexpensive journey, and so far the results are amazing.  They hung three of our framed collector's pieces in the family room today, and it looks spectacular!

In the past, when we talked about remodeling, we both agreed that we wouldn't get new carpeting in the house until we no longer had cats.  What with the potential for the cats to pee on the carpet, the seemingly constant puking and the cat hair everywhere, it didn't seem worth it.  When it came down to it, though, we moved ahead with replacing the carpet exactly because there was an overwhelming cat pee smell in the entire downstairs, cat puke stains everywhere, and cat hair all over the place.  So now we have this amazing "new" house with this amazing new carpet in it.

This morning I was moving stuff out of the master bedroom so that the contractors could start working there.  The cat litter boxes have been in our bedroom for the past few weeks for lack of a better place to put them.  I picked one up to take it downstairs, and set it down temporarily outside the bedroom door to get a better grip on it.  As I set it down, something wet splashed onto my bare foot.  That something was cat pee, that had apparently gotten through the walls of the litter box and was just hanging out on the outside of the box on the liner bag.  Thoroughly disgusted (yes, I know it's just pee), I ran into the bathroom to wipe it off my foot.  When I came back to continue my journey downstairs, I noticed a nice yellow puddle behind the litter box on the brand new carpet (more leaking from the liner bag).  I think I screamed something like "No! No! NO!!!" (very rational, I know).  Thankfully, it seems that the amazing stain protection that this particular carpet touted was working, since the liquid stayed on the surface of the carpet and didn't seep down into it.  I soaked up the little puddle with a paper towel, cleaned off the liner bag to prevent further leaking on the way downstairs, and finished moving the litter box.  Yes, I probably over-reacted, and right now I'm very protective of our extremely nice, clean new carpet.

I made several more trips up and down the stairs moving stuff, and less than a half an hour later, I came back upstairs from dropping something off below, and found a GIANT (okay, maybe eight inches long by three inches wide) puddle of cat puke, liquid complete with whole chunks of cat food in it, on the family room carpet.  The brand new family room carpet.  Needless to say, I was already not in the greatest space mentally about the cats, and this definitely did NOT help.  There was some yelling (by me), and some threatening to take the cats to the county shelter, and then while cleaning up the puke, there was a little bit of crying.  Frustration, annoyance, concern about the new carpet...I don't know!

I came home a little while ago from doing some errands, and there, waiting for me on the family room carpet, were two little logs of cat puke.  Again.  WTF?!?!?!?!?

Last year in the fall I made the decision to put down my boy kitty, Dexter.  I had Dexter for 13.5 years, and he was the sweetest kitty in the world.  He was also sick, needed to be medicated every other day, and was peeing all over our house.  It was a heartbreaking choice, and in the end I was very clear that I wasn't going to let my life be run by a cat. 

We now have two cats left between us, and I love them very much (most of the time).  I've had my girl cat, Monkey, for 14.5 years.  She still has a kitten face, and she's cute as hell, though she has a tendency to leave our socks all over the house and yodel incessantly.  Donovan's boy cat, Franz, is a real character.  He's a total freak (in a very amusing way), and in certain moments is a very sweet kitty.  He also likes to chew on (read: destroy) plants, fake or real.  Sometimes, like today, I wish we didn't have cats.  No puking, no peeing, no cat hair everywhere, no litter boxes, no food and water dishes.  We could travel all the time and not worry about them.  I know I'd miss them.  I'd miss cuddling up with them and burying my face in their fur.  I'd miss the lump of a cat on my left every morning when I wake up.  I'd miss Franz and his seeming lack of personal space boundaries climbing all over us.  But I'd get over missing them eventually, and we would have a nice, clean cat-free house.  I'm just sayin'...

Monkey and Franz

An Interview with Donovan

I'm still feeling a little blah about blogging, so I am bringing in reinforcements.  Today, Donovan is blogging with me!  He's lying on the floor next to my desk, and is going to contribute to my blog.  Any minute now...Still waiting...

Oh!  An idea!  I'll interview Donovan!  Hmmm...what about?  I know...I can interview him about my favorite subject...ME!  :)

Me:  What do you love most about me?
Donovan:  Boobs 
Me:  No, seriously, what do you love most about me?
Donovan:  I love how cute you are, I love how much fun we have together, I love how you love me...

Me:  What drives you the most nuts about me?
Donovan:  The most nuts...hmmm...Probably, what comes to mind, is you getting annoyed at all the things I do (all the things I promised to do for the rest of your life!).

Me:  What do you think about my blog?
Donovan:  I love it.  I love how it's a window into your mind.  I learn things from your blog that I didn't know.  As much as we talk and share, there's different stuff in your blog.  And I think it really makes you think about yourself and what's going on with you.  And I love how lots of other people are reading your blog.  It makes me really proud.
Me:  Awwww...  :)

Me:  Why do you think I've been blah about blogging the past week and a half or so?
Donovan:  I think that 90% of the things you're initially excited about and want to do, you end up hating.  Lots of things turn into a "have to" for you, and you forget why you originally wanted to do them.  And I think that keeping your promises or commitments or doing the things that you said you would do somehow turns into someone else making you do something, which you hate.
Me:  Huh.

Me:  Where in the world would you most like to go with me?
Donovan:  Marrakesh.
Me:  Really?  Marrakesh?  Like, Morocco?
Donovan:  Yep.  It's tied for first.
Me:  Tied with what?
Donovan:  Italy, Paris, Australia, Coast of Spain...
Me:  Interesting.

Me:  What else would you like people to know about me?
Donovan:  I want people to know that you have one of the strongest personalities of anyone I've met and that keeps me on my toes and makes for an interesting marriage.  And I love you immensely.  And I'm very lucky to have you.  And you have a dot in the colored part of your left eye that you don't have in your right.  And we need to go to bed.

There you have it, folks!  An interview about me with my husband!  :)

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Jason Mraz is Uh-mazing!

We just got home from seeing Jason Mraz in concert.  That boy is MAGICAL!!!  Every time I see him in concert, I am reminded of why I try to see him every time he comes to San Diego.  This particular concert was an acoustic concert with just Jason and his drummer/percussionist/backup singer Toca.  The show started a little after 7:30pm and ended around 10:30pm with a short intermission.  Out of the two and a half hours or so that they played, I think I knew four or five songs.  Ordinarily that would drive me nuts, and I would be bored out of my mind.  With Jason, it just doesn't matter.

His sound is so smooth, and his voice is simply *amazing*.  And the boy is FUNNY!  Definitely has a great sense of humor, which comes out not only in all the talking he does, but also in his songs.  In one song he and Toca did whale sounds, and then so did the whole audience. 

He is an incredibly versatile musician.  He plays guitar, he plays piano, he sings in a variety of styles...  For one song, he sat down at the piano and played while he sang, and in the middle of the song he went into full on opera-style singing, and he was really f-ing good!  Such a clear, clean, beautifully smooth voice.

I found myself just sitting there and feeling totally peaceful as they played.  I didn't care what time it was, or who was doing what in the audience.  I was totally immersed in the world of music they were creating.  And as I screamed my lungs out after they did "I'm Yours" (my favorite of his songs), I was just plain happy!  San Diego is their home town, and you could see that both Jason and Toca were genuinely touched at the end of the show with the ovation they received.  It was great to be a part of that!

I definitely recommend going to see him if you have the chance.  He's here again tomorrow night, just in case...  :)

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Twilight

I'm not ashamed to admit it...I read all the Twilight books.  

Not only did I read them, I inhaled them.  It was December 2008, and I was going to the Canyon Ranch spa in Arizona for a week by myself.  I started the first book on the plane down there on Saturday.  It was like crack, and I couldn't stop reading.  Here I was at this amazing world-class spa, and everywhere I went, I took my book with me.  At every meal, in between classes, while waiting for my spa treatments...I was reading.  I'm pretty sure I finished the first book that same day, started and finished the second book the next day (staying up til the wee hours of the morning to finish), and then made myself take a break from reading the books so that I could focus on relaxing at the spa.  I'm pretty sure my break lasted a day, and by Thursday I was done with all four books (for those of you who haven't read them, these are no small books we're talking about...on average they are 640 pages each).  I read 2,560 pages in six days.

Maybe because I read them so close together, or maybe because of how they're written (or some combination thereof), I was completely immersed in their world, even after I finished reading the books.  I was enamored with the characters and the world they lived in, and I wanted to live there with them.  It took quite some time for that effect to wear off.

When the first Twilight movie came out, I refused to see it.  It was such a sacred thing in my head, and I didn't want their images of the characters to replace the ones that already lived in my head.  I held out for many months, and finally watched it on DVD.  It was pretty cheesy, and couldn't quite capture things the way the book did.  Still, I was hooked, and I watched the next two movies in the theater.

Tonight Donovan and I went to see Breaking Dawn, Part 1.  This movie covers the first half of the fourth book.  So much of the fourth book takes place in Bella's head, so I was interested to see how they would capture that on film.  The reality of it is, they didn't.  The movie was entertaining enough, and imparts the basic storyline.  But to a true fan of the books, it just doesn't measure up.  The power of the fourth book is in all the internal pain, struggle and agony that Bella goes through, and a majority of that was lost in translation.  Still, they ended the movie in the perfect place and, like a true addict, I can't wait to see Part 2!  :)

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Poker Night

Once a month, Donovan and I put on the local Mensa poker tournament.  This was his undertaking, which I started helping with last year.  We don't host it here, but we bring all the poker tables, chips, etc., and we collect money and basically run the tournament.  It's a lot of fun every month.  I've never made it to the final table, but I usually play decently enough.  I put in my $20 at the beginning of the night, and however far that gets me, it gets me. 

Tonight was a different format than usual, a sit-and-go format.  So rather than one big tournament and when you're out you're out, it's that as soon as there are eight players ready to play, you start a new table.  And when you're out of one table, you can wait for a new one to start and play there.  I spent the first couple of hours tonight organizing things so that Donovan could play.  This format is much more organizationally intense than the regular tournaments, which we usually both play in.  Donovan came in second at the first table he played at tonight, and won $80 (with a $20 buy-in).  He decided he didn't want to play at another table, so I took the opportunity to play in one of the next tables that started.  Our table decided to pay out the top three spots instead of just top two (we started with ten players).  I came in third and won back my $20 buy-in!  It's the first time I've ever won any money at these tournaments.  Yay!  :)

The people who come to play at the tournaments are really great.  It's a surprisingly small number of Mensa members, considering it's a Mensa event!  We actually get quite an interesting mix of people, and it's always a fun time.

I always feel really good about myself at the end of our poker nights.  The tournaments usually run very smoothly, and we get a lot of compliments from people.  I really feel in my element with making sure that the food and drinks are laid out properly, that everyone is taken care of...basically being a hostess, with a little more responsibility.  It's one of those things that I just know I do well, and it's fun!

Sadly, there's no tournament in December, so I'll have to wait till the end of January for the next one!

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Blogger's Block

Well, apparently I've hit the wall...the blogging wall.  This week has been a serious struggle for me with blogging.  I don't know if it was the weekend's blogging from last week that burned me out, or the holiday this week took my focus, but I'm not really feeling the blogging this week.  I've committed to five days a week, so I'm blogging now to keep that commitment, and I don't really have much to say.

We had a really nice day yesterday for Thanksgiving.  Slept in late, went and picked up the food, and then spent the afternoon/evening with friends in our pajamas eating and drinking and playing games.  Ended up having homemade (by one of our friends) cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting for dessert instead of  pumpkin pie...a good trade!

I'm hoping this weekend will bring me more inspiration for the blog!  Apologies for the dud post!!

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Our New Home!

A few months ago, I was ready to go buy a new house just to get away from this one.  Not that there's anything inherently wrong with this house.  It's up on a hill, has a nice view, has great architecture and high ceilings, only one wall attached...it's a great house!  What wasn't so great was the cat pee smell in the entire downstairs, the dingy old carpet with practically no padding left under it in the whole house, the lack of overhead lighting in most rooms, and what seemed like a general lack of space.

Instead of buying a new house, we decided to do some remodeling, which we started at the beginning of September right after we got back from our honeymoon.  We started with phase one, which was the downstairs.  Electrical work to install overhead lights, new paint and baseboards, new carpet, and bye-bye cat pee smell.  That was finished in mid-October, and we got our office furniture and got set up.  Then came phase two, which included the stairs, family/living room and the dining room.  The family/living room was a BIG project.  All sorts of wiring for our home theater under the floorboards and in the walls, a shelf built for our projector, electrical work and overhead lighting, new paint, new mantle, hearth and tiling, new baseboards and new carpet.  The dining room was paint, baseboards and carpet.  Today, on November 23, 2011, phase two is complete!!

 Our newly remodeled living room

There's still more to come after the holiday...phases three and four!  Master bedroom, master bathroom and powder room.  Hopefully that will only take a few weeks, and if all goes well, it can all be done before Christmas!!  Then the only thing left is the kitchen, which we may wait a little while on...

I can't even tell you how ecstatic I am.  Even without the master bedroom being done...it's seriously like having a new house.  Aside from the basic architecture of the house, practically everything else is new!  It looks amazing, it smells amazing (I had my house cleaner come today, too)...IT'S SO GREAT!!!  I lay down on the carpet in the middle of the living room looking up at our awesome new lights and the paint and the amazingness of it all, and I felt calm, peaceful, and very very happy.  Hooray!!!

Holiday Traditions

I grew up in a Jewish household of Israeli descent, so our holiday traditions were built around Jewish holidays like Chanukah and Passover.  Many of those traditions still stand...for at least one night of Chanukah I will light candles on the phone with my parents and then we'll sing the Chanukah songs (Donovan got video of this last year, and he thinks it's hilariously adorable).  What I don't really have are holiday traditions around the non-Jewish holidays like Thanksgiving.   

Last year was the first year that Donovan and I spent Thanksgiving together.  We decided not to travel anywhere and not to go to anyone's house.  Instead, we declared it Pajama Thanksgiving.  We spent the day in our pajamas, even going to pick up our holiday meal from Mimi's in our pjs!  We watched holiday movies, including Love Actually (one of my most favoritest!), and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, ate our holiday meal, and had a spectacular day.

A couple of months ago I was chatting with a friend of mine, and we came up with the idea of an orphan Thanksgiving, where any of our friends that don't have family close by can all get together and spend the holiday with one another.  I immediately thought of our amazing Pajama Thanksgiving last year, and after talking to Donovan about it, we decided to host Orphan Pajama Thanksgiving this year!  I challenged Bob, our contractor, to get the family room and dining room done by the holiday for us, and he delivered!  Carpet went in today, and tomorrow Bob and Michael are coming back to put on the finishing touches.  So far we have two or three definite attendees, and lots of "maybe" or "we'll stop by in the evening for dessert" responses.  If you don't have plans for the holiday and are in the area, let us know!  :)

I'm excited to see how this holiday turns out.  I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun!  We're getting a large holiday meal from Mimi's (including a whole turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, vegetables, pie and more), I've got a recipe for pumpkin pie martinis that I'm excited to try out, the house looks *amazing*, we've got games to play and movies to watch, and we're spending the day with awesome people!  Will this turn into a holiday tradition?  Guess we'll have to wait and see!  Now I just need to pick out which pajamas I'm going to wear!!  :)

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A Special Day With Doda

For the past several years, I've had a tradition with my brother's kids...a Special Day with Doda (aunt) Iris.  Whenever one of the kids has a birthday, I fly up here and spend the day with him or her doing whatever he or she wants to do.  Over the years I've done many different combinations of Dave & Busters, Malibu Grand Prix, Baskin Robbins, bowling, mini golf, a movie, Toys R Us...I'm sure I'm leaving out a few.  Traditionally, I've taken the birthday child out of school for the day, which makes it even more fun for them!  This year, though, the older three requested not to miss school, which has made the scheduling a little more challenging for me.  My second-oldest nephew had his 11th birthday in March of this year, and I didn't make his special day happen until today.  It wasn't the ideal day for it, since we have the Bar Mitzvah party starting at 5:00pm, and it's Sunday, which means that a lot of stuff doesn't open until later.  Still, we figured better this than nothing at all!

It's been the plan for a few weeks now, and I talked to him about it yesterday when I was over there.  I let him know that it was supposed to rain today, so he should figure out indoor stuff to do.  When I arrived this morning to pick him up, he let me know that he wanted to go to a place where you can pitch baseballs and then have your pitching speed measured by a radar gun.  Sort of the opposite of batting cages, of which there are many in the area.  We spent some time doing Google searches to try and find something like what he was looking for.  I called a few sports-type places to see if they had any ideas, and none of them had heard of anything like that.  I asked my nephew if there was something else he'd like to do, and made some suggestions.  All of them were met with "No."  He was pretty set on the baseball pitching idea.  My brother and his wife weren't home, and I asked my oldest nephew (the one whose Bar Mitzvah party is today) to talk to his brother.  Nothing useful came out of that.  The 11-year-old started playing video games on the computer, and said that that was what he wanted to do.

Through all the transformational work that I've done, I've come to the understanding that it's not a question of whether you're going to mess up your kids, it's a question of when.  You could be the best parent in the world, with the best intentions, and something will happen that your child will make mean something about themselves, and there's not a whole lot you can do to prevent that.  This child is not my own child, and I know that I can still inadvertently damage his self-esteem.  We've had issues in the past, he and I, because I wouldn't take him on his special day due to behavioral issues.  So I already feel like the relationship is tenuous.  I really wanted him to understand that this day was his, that I was there to be with him, and that he had a choice to make.

I tried to get him to stop playing his video game long enough for me to have a conversation with him, but he wasn't having it.  So while he was playing, I told him that I loved him, that I was there to spend the day with him, that I wasn't going to force him to do anything, and that he could choose to play computer games, or go have a fun day with me.  He said he wanted to play computer games.  At this point I had been there for close to an hour, and I was pretty done with the whole thing.  My niece and younger nephew were gung-ho to go to the nearby Jewish deli and get lunch, so after another round of questions to the 11-year-old, I took the two others, and we went to lunch.  We brought food back for the 11-year-old and the Bar Mitzvah boy, and after hanging around for a few more minutes, I left.

I don't quite have peace around this whole thing.  I am happy that I kept my cool and didn't yell or threaten or even really get upset.  And I'm wondering if there was a better way that I could have handled it, a way that I could have broken through his wall and gotten in.

I'm now left with the question of where to go from here.  Since we were having a shorter day, I told him that this would be part one, and that we would do part two another time.  Should I try this again with him in the near future?  How many times do I put myself (and him) through this?  Will it be different the next time?  I have no clue...

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