So of course my ugly little gremlin (or voice, or whatever you want to call it) is rearing its ugly little head. What if I'm not prepared enough for this weekend? What if I don't get it? What if I'm not good at coaching? What if, what if, what if?
Now mind you, this is not new. This is pretty typical of me before doing something I've never done before. Why am I so afraid of the unknown? And why am I so afraid to fail? In the Wisdom Course, we get to look at failure not as something bad, rather as an opportunity to figure out what was missing and try again. Which totally makes sense to the rational me. The three-year-old who runs much of my life, however, doesn't really grasp that. She's just really really afraid.
One of the challenges for me this weekend is to get into the "beginner's mind", and not just sit inside of "I already know this." Having been through so many transformational courses over the past two years, it's definitely a potential pitfall for me to think that I'm already an expert. Plus, I did a good portion of the pre-course work, so of course I already know everything!! :p
I guess I feel like I have a lot riding on this. Even though I say that I'm doing this coach certification just to check it out and see if it suits me, I may have already chosen coaching as my next career path. Which would mean that I really can't afford to mess this up! :)
As I well know, everything always works out the way it is meant to, and this is no exception. I am going to have fun this weekend, learn as much as I can, and try not to psych myself out too much. Cheers to that!
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3 comments:
OMG, wow and oy vey!
I really really recommend concentrating on not thinking any more on the flight up or if possible in the next three days.
I had this great idea: what if we could switch heads! Like, we'd have one head for thinking, one for dancing, one for having fun, one for meditating, etc. Imagine it! We could actually get some rest from thinking so much all the time!
Seems to me, darling, you need to let go of trying to control everything all the time and just go to the course and be vulnerable.
Just don't let Donovan see you're vulnerable, because only the fairies know how he'd take advantage of it after. Or any one else in the course. Especially not the teachers. And don't write anything vulnerable by accident in the blog because your parents might see. And..... And.
Have some compassion for your own poor nerves, okay?
I love you!
Sigi, the parents are constantly watching. Even when they are not physically there, they are those little voices in your head...
Irisit, good luck with your coaching career. Safta wants to be your first client...
LOVE YOU!!!
As long as parents are just voices I don't mind. It's when they can SEE everything, that's when it gets creepy.
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